Dealing with Loss

Hello everyone, and happy Friday! I hope everyone had a great week and are enjoying the night.

Today, I would like to write about dealing with loss. This is something that everyone in life has to deal with at some point, often at different ages. My first real experience with this is when I lost my grandma, who was like my mom, at age 12. Now let me tell you, at age 12, I cried a little bit, and then kind of shrugged it off. Not that I didn’t care, because I did, but more because I didn’t know how to process the loss.

It took to me up until I was 14 or 15 that I started grieving the loss of my grandma. I jokingly blame this on a new set of friends that came into my life at that time, who I always said showed me how to be sad. The reality of this is because I finally realized that I was extremely sad about what had happened, and I really missed this person who was everything in my life.

During high school, it took me until around grade 11, my junior year, to really fully grieve the loss. I had gone through a small depression, with many thoughts of suicide, but through it all, I was okay. I had a strong support system and people who loved me and helped me through it.

I want to give my best advice of how to deal with the loss of someone, no matter how big or small in life. My first piece of advice is to cry. It sounds simple, but a lot of times at moments of losing someone, we don’t cry because we are trying to stay strong for someone, whether it be a significant other, kid, or even just a friend. And it is possible to be strong for them and still cry and let your emotions out. It doesn’t have to be in front of them, either.¬†Most of my crying was done alone, usually in the bathroom, because that was a private place to me. I’ve even used my car, and driven somewhere to be alone to get away from it all.

Which brings me to my next piece of advice. Get away once in awhile. We all like to think that sadness follows us, but in my experience, it’s usually in a certain place that I felt the saddest. Yes, you may still feel sad, but if you get away and go somewhere, it can be good for you. Being around a bunch of people who do not know who you are or what you’re going through, can often lead you to forget for awhile. I went to the mall or a busy store and just walked around. Often taking someone with me. To you, it may be that or it may be going for a walk around¬†a lake, or down the street. But getting away can help.

My last piece of advice is simple but very effective. Music. In my young age, I’ve learned that music helps heal everything. There is usually always a song describing what you’re going through. That has always helped me. When my grandma died, they played “Holes in the Floor of Heaven” by Steve Wariner, and “I Can Only Imagine” by Mercy Me. Those two songs got me through a lot.

I also found the music of Garth Brooks, which to this day still help me get through things. No matter what you listen to, music is a healthy way of coping with something and let someone else sing the way you feel.

I hope my advice might help someone, even one person. I know I wish I had something like this in 2005 when my grandma died. 11 years is a long time without someone, but time does heal. Not fully, you never forget and it does sting from time to time. Especially around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those were her favorite holidays. During these times, I surround myself with family and friends, and try to enjoy her memory.

I hope everyone has a great and safe weekend!

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