Hello everyone! Today, I’d like to talk a little bit about the friend zone. Ask any person in the room, and they will usually have a story about the friend zone, either for it or against it.
I know a lot of people who say the friend zone does not exist. It’s something created by guys to make themselves feel better and to have an excuse on why a girl does not like them. (Yes, this comes from mostly women in my experience.)
So, at this point you may be asking, “Well, Scott, where do you stand on this?”
That answer is simple – I believe the friend zone does exist. Now, I am not saying that because I am trying to make excuses on why girls don’t like me. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are guys that do just that. Let me explain why.
The friend zone, to me, is a place where a woman puts a guy because she doesn’t see him as a potential mate, for many reasons. I believe in giving everyone a chance, however, I also believe that there has to some form of attraction. To different people, being attracted to someone can mean different things. Some people are attracted to personality, some are attracted to intelligence, and some are attracted to appearance, just to name a few.
I have found myself in the friend zone many times. I’ve always joked that it’s a mysterious land, and that we have cookies. I have many female friends that have put me here, and I take it as they want me to stay in their life. They don’t want to have the possibility that something could go wrong if we tried to date, and it ruin the friendship. I always say it wouldn’t happen, but let me be honest, it’s not something I can ever guarantee.
I’ve seen many friendships be ruined simply because they dated, and the spark was not there. Usually it ends badly, and any hopes of keeping that friendship is lost. It’s a sad thing to watch, as I’ve watched many friends of mine have this happen.
I find it a compliment anymore. Maybe it’s me maturing a little. I feel complimented when someone tells me that they don’t want to date me because they fear it’d ruin what friendship we have. Now, some might say that love has risks that are worth it. I agree, and I believe if that risk is to be taken, it has to be from both parties. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it does not. If you really feel strongly about someone, and you think they may feel the same but fear is stopping them – talk to them about it. Sit down with them and have a serious one on one chat. Don’t make promises you can’t always keep. Don’t promise to always be there friend no matter what. Reality is, anything could happen. It could end badly. It could ruin that friendship.
On the reverse side, it could be beautiful. It could be amazing. That could be the person you marry, but you’d never know without the risk of trying.
Life is full of risks, it’s up to you to figure out which risks are worth taking.