Hello everyone! It is currently a little past 4 in the morning here, and I decided to write a blog for you guys.
Today’s subject is something I know about pretty well, and maybe my views will help someone on the subject.
Being in love with your best friend. Now, I know they say your best friend should be the person you marry, which can get a little confusing. Growing up, our best friend is usually someone of the same gender, right? If you aren’t gay or lesbian, this could cause an issue on the marry your best friend thing. (Not to state the obvious.) I believe the saying is for those people that end up being with someone who turns into their best friend. It’s a nice thing to imagine.
In my life, I’ve been “in love” multiple times. I am young (23) and have made many mistakes on the path of finding the one. I, however, have actually been in love, 100% sure, 1 time. She was my best friend, and we did everything together, it seemed. At one point, I would wake up, take her to work in the morning, come home and sleep, pick her up from work and take her home, go to work myself, and then pick her back up and bring her to my house to hang out for a couple of hours.
I am not saying that it justifies being in love, but we spent a great amount of time together. Naturally, I fell for her…pretty hard. I knew I liked her when we first met, but tried to play it cool. She had a boyfriend, and I was going to do my best to respect that, but as a senior in high school, I really didn’t care to be completely honest.
Moving forward, I spent a good 5 years loving this girl, and we never dated. Everyone thought we would, and it fell apart. I took it fairly hard, which wasn’t fair to her. You should not expect someone to be in love with you just because you are in love with them, and that is something I’ve learned the hard way. Just because it made sense to me, doesn’t mean it made sense to her. She wanted to be strictly friends, and I could not accept that for the life of me.
In a situation like this, I learned quickly that I needed to get away. Not to be mean to her, but to get myself away from something that was going to be fairly destructive. I am happy to say now that we are still friends, and even though we don’t hang out as much as we once did, I talk to her fairly regularly.
The point of this post, is to simply say this. Just because it seems right to you, doesn’t mean it is right. Don’t be mad at someone and take it out on them because they don’t feel the way you do. You cannot make someone love you, no matter how hard you may want to try. Now, sometimes it works. Sometimes you can win someone over, and in those situations, it’s usually a natural thing. Eventually they just realize that hey, they do feel the same way. Which is a great plot for any romantic-comedy movie. (You know it’s true.)
My best advice is this. Depending on what level you are at. If it’s just starting, and they don’t feel the same about you, move on. It’s hard to do, and sometimes seems impossible, but it’s the best thing you can do. If you are 5 years into it like I was, and nothing happened, it’s not going to. Hate it break it to you. If you have to, take some time for yourself. It’s okay to do so.
I hope this helps anyone who may be struggling with this. I know I was, and no matter what anyone told me, I was pretty sure I was right and that she loved me. And she did, don’t get me wrong, but just as a friend. That’s not a bad way to be with someone. Just throwing that out there.