We’ve all been there. We’ve all had that moment after an argument with a friend that you get that feeling in your gut that you are losing that friend. It’s a feeling like no other. It’s a feeling that will drive you crazy, and make you wonder how you stop it.
I’ve felt this feeling more than I care to admit. The feeling gets even worse when there is no argument. When you feel yourself drifting apart from this person you care so much for. The question always remains the same, at least for me…how do I stop it?
And honestly, I’ve found the honest answer, most of the time, is you can’t. Growing apart from people is a natural thing of life. Granted, sometimes the feeling is false, and you’re just missing that person. Maybe you don’t see them as much as you once did; that does NOT mean you are growing apart. It could just mean that life is getting busy, and when it comes down to it, you’ll still be there for that person.
In my 23 years here on Earth, I’ve learned this about friends: they come and go. The friends that stay, are the friends that you will forever be tied to emotionally. They say once you are friends for 7 years, that you’ll be friends for life. However, that isn’t always the case. Sometimes life takes people in different directions, and while you can remain friends, you might notice you don’t speak as often. You don’t keep up on their life events. Next thing you know, you’re getting a wedding invite, and you didn’t even know they were with someone.
The feeling of losing a friend is a feeling that life brings. Actually losing the friend is a really sucky thing. I’ve had friendships ruined over stupid arguments; I think we all have. I think we all have that one friend in middle school, that if we could go back and just stop ourselves from liking the same person they liked, you’d have an extra friend.
There is no easy way to get through this awkward stage in a friendship. If there isn’t an argument that was had, and you’re losing someone, it’s time to face that maybe they want to go. It’s a hard fact of life. Not everyone wants to remain friends, and you can’t make them stay. Maybe their views differ from yours. Maybe they have a crush on you, and you didn’t feel the same. I’m not saying in any way that should be a reason not to be friends with someone, but I’ve been there. I’ve left a friendship for a good while because I had feelings, they didn’t, and it hurt to see them with someone else.
My best advice in dealing with this feeling, is to take a deep breath. Inhale and exhale. If you can, talk to them, see if it they are feeling it to. It never hurts to see where a friend stands on your friendship. If there is a legitimate distance between the two of you, odds are both of you are aware of the distance.
Another thing to realize, before I go, is to remember that just because you are losing 1 friend, does not mean you don’t have any friends. It may hurt to see a friend go, but don’t forget about the other friends you have. Good friends will want to be there for you. If you have friends that don’t want to be there, then I believe it’s time to re-evaluate your friendships.
As always guys, have a great rest of your day. I will see you all in the next post.